50 Date Night Questions – Get To Know Your Other Half In New and Deeper Ways

Date nights become more difficult when we are married

If you disagree, I’m sure that means you and your spouse have found ways of stepping out of the norm to keep things new.

If you found that the opener resonate with you, then fear not, this seems to be a common problem among married couples. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your marriage or love for one another is waning. Marriage is a bold and maturing step of any couple. In marriage, our lives, our living space, and our finances (hopefully) are shared. What this means is the couple now shares responsibilities together, are compelled to place more trust in each other and become more honest with one another (in fact, it should be the most honest relationship you have). Unless the union embarks on abuse or irreconcilable infidelity, this is a union with no backdoors, a relationship (perhaps a friendship) that says, “when the going gets tough, I’m not just going to run away. We are going to figure this out together and grow from it”. 

Still, couples are bound to feel periods of stagnancy when the two get into a routine. Now that you are living and bound to one another, perhaps you think you know everything about the other person already, perhaps asking how each of your days went gets old. Enjoyable and placating as it is to veg out with your spouse on the couch in front of the TV, deep down I’m sure the two of you are craving something engaging, some real quality time that is reminiscent of the “dating period”. 

In a previous relationship, I once asked a girlfriend to treat me as though I were a complete stranger, to pretend in front of our friends like we didn’t know anything about one another, to leave behind any assumptions, and to basically “play pretend”. The exercise never executed as there was some discomfort with the experiment, though I think there’s better ways of rekindling in a romance that spirit of “newness”.

Rekindling Novelty Through Date Night Questions

The awesome thing about date night questions is that it requires no fancy place to go out to, is affordable, and there’s actually an infinite amount of possibilities that will unfold with you and your spouse as you venture into said questions.

You’ll be surprised, you’ll disagree. Most importantly, you’ll probably see a new side of your spouse and get curious to see their other dimensions. 

I’ve searched for different lists of date night questions and I’m sure my list includes some of their suggestions. However, once you go through one list and had a good experience with them, you’re bound to want to try a new one. Here are 100 Date Night Questions meant to spur some new fresh talking material with you and your love.

Get ready for some crazy answers and conversation, and most importantly, get curious and dive deep into your love’s answers!

You’ll notice that some of these questions are meant to ask your partner to share about themselves and also for them to share how they perceive you. Hopefully this sharing provides new and exciting insights!

(PS: Comment below your set of Date Night Questions you’ve enjoyed using before or would like to pass on to others to try out!)

50 Date Night Questions

  1. If you had to live in another state/country for 5 years, what would be your top 3 choices be?
  2. If you had to start over and try any new field of study or career, what would it be?
  3. If you could experience a natural disaster without suffering harm or property damage, what disaster would I experience?
  4. What are my most attractive three features?
  5. What kitchen appliance would I be and why?
  6. What would you like you today go back and say to you from 3rd grade and you from middle school?
  7. What mundane super power would I have?
  8. What is something you are grateful for this week? What is something you wish you could have changed about it?
  9. In twenty years, I become famous for something. What is it for?
  10. If you could invite any celebrity over to your house for dinner, who would it be and why?
  11. If you could fly with wings or swim with fins & gills, which would you choose, and why?
  12. Your house starts on fire. Everyone else makes it out safe (including pets). You have a single backpack. What do you stuff it with, or, what three things do you take with you?
  13. What do you wish you could do over and why?
  14. What was your first impression of me when we first met? What was that day like for you? What feelings did you feel?
  15. If I had a podcast, what would it be called and what would it look like?
  16. What time and place in history would you love to go and visit and why?
  17. What extinct animal would you have as a pet?
  18. What hobby or skill do you wish you could instantly pick up?
  19. What is something you’d like me to work on?
  20. If you could only own five movies, what would they be?
  21. If I were a transformer (robots in disguise) what vehicle would I transform into?
  22. If they made a movie about me, what would they title it?
  23. If an actor/actress were to play me in a movie about me, who would you choose?
  24. In that movie about you, what opening scene would you choose?
  25. If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books would you have with you?
  26. It’s the apocalypse and you have a solar-powered CD player and just one CD. What CD is that?
  27. Money is not an issue. What does your dream home look like and where is it?
  28. Mention a dream you had when you were a kid that has stuck with you.
  29. Who is someone you wish I had a better relationship with (or extended grace to)?
  30. Which friend or family member of mine do you appreciate the most, and what is their best quality?
  31. What is the most hurtful thing a friend or family member has said to you, about you, or asked you to improve upon?
  32. What is something you wish you could improve in in regards to your relationship with others?
  33. If could be memorialized for one virtue, what would it be, and why?
  34. What food do you wish you could eat for the rest of your life without consequence?
  35. When have you experienced the most amount of pain in your life?
  36. What would you say is my spirit animal?
  37. What class are you glad you never have to take again? Why?
  38. Which teacher left the greatest impact on you? Why? What were they like?
  39. If you could ask any deceased person one question, who would you ask the question to and what would you ask?
  40. In 50 years, what invention or discovery will be attributed to me?
  41. What is a memory in my life I wish you could take a time machine to go experience?
  42. Round your age up to the next decade. If you could do whatever you wanted on that birthday of yours, what would you do?
  43. What is a fear I haven’t shared with you yet?
  44. If I wrote a self-help book titled, “5 Rules for Life” what would my 5 Rules be?
  45. Reverse Question 44…
  46. What literary/fictional character do I remind you of?
  47. When have you seen me at my best?
  48. Describe then share what you think your coat of arms, together would have, describing the following:
    1. What color (or two colors) would the shield be?
    2. What interlocking weapons/instruments/objects would appear underneath?
    3. What four symbols would appear on the crest/shield?
    4. What figures would be holding it up?
    5. What would be at the top of the helmet?
    6. What would the motto be at the end?
  49. Using my initials, describe me in three words.
  50. What question do you wish was on this list (write it down instead)?

Genesis 24: Synergy, Paddling In Tandem with God’s Current

Genesis 24:1-27

Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2 He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3 I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4 but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.”

5 The servant asked him, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?”

6 “Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. 7 “The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring[a] I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. 8 If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” 9 So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.

10 Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim[b] and made his way to the town of Nahor. 11 He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.

12 Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. 14 May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”

15 Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. 16 The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

17 The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.”

18 “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.

19 After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. 21 Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.

22 When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka[c] and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels.[d] 23 Then he asked, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?”

24 She answered him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor.” 25 And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.”

26 Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, 27 saying, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”

28 The young woman ran and told her mother’s household about these things. 29 Now Rebekah had a brother named Laban, and he hurried out to the man at the spring. 30 As soon as he had seen the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sister’s arms, and had heard Rebekah tell what the man said to her, he went out to the man and found him standing by the camels near the spring. 31 “Come, you who are blessed by the Lord,” he said. “Why are you standing out here? I have prepared the house and a place for the camels.”

32 So the man went to the house, and the camels were unloaded. Straw and fodder were brought for the camels, and water for him and his men to wash their feet. 33 Then food was set before him, but he said, “I will not eat until I have told you what I have to say.”

“Then tell us,” Laban said.

34 So he said, “I am Abraham’s servant. 35 The Lord has blessed my master abundantly, and he has become wealthy. He has given him sheep and cattle, silver and gold, male and female servants, and camels and donkeys. 36 My master’s wife Sarah has borne him a son in her old age, and he has given him everything he owns. 37 And my master made me swear an oath, and said, ‘You must not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I live, 38 but go to my father’s family and to my own clan, and get a wife for my son.’

39 “Then I asked my master, ‘What if the woman will not come back with me?’

40 “He replied, ‘The Lord, before whom I have walked faithfully, will send his angel with you and make your journey a success, so that you can get a wife for my son from my own clan and from my father’s family. 41 You will be released from my oath if, when you go to my clan, they refuse to give her to you—then you will be released from my oath.’

Manifest destiny

We’ve spoken before on the anxiety induced by uncertainty, of the dissonance we feel for having such a finite view of time. Even when God gives us assurance–just as he did with Abraham–we are faced with doubts, wrestle with hypotheticals. Assurances are dislodged by dry spells and crises. We’ve spoken about crossroads before and how unnerving it can be to make choices, fretting over our futures as we deliberate which path to take in the present.

There’s a tension in the believer to leave all things to God and to manifest their own destiny. On the one extreme, sitting and doing nothing and “waiting for God” forsakes any responsibility of our own to let our lives happen, to risk ourselves to an adventure of peril wherein our journey to God’s plan requires many twists and turns. The other extreme is when we take God out of our deliberation, beset ourselves on our own personal goals and dreams, creating a plan for ourselves to abate any anxiety we might have of making ends meet or feeling accomplished. 

Giving God the entire wheel while sitting and staring at our belly buttons rarely produces fruit. Alternatively, going our own way without God is sure to lead to ruin and regret. 

a journey without promise

This story from Genesis gives us a beautiful example of the middle ground of these extremes. There are three figures who are anxious over the same thing: Isaac finding a wife. Abraham, Isaac, and the servant are all unsure who will be the proper matriarch of this divinely appointed family. We can infer Abraham works closer to God than perhaps he had in the past, leaving room for God to work in uncertainty instead of carving his own way. He gives a task to his servant to find this mysterious bride.

The instructions are simple: go to my home town, and not to those of Canaan. This distinction of Abraham is not one of racial purity, but rather is Abraham’s intention of consecrating his family to God, to steer away from pagan cultures that might steer Isaac or his offspring to cultic practices of sacrificing to strange gods. Abraham’s spiritual pedigree can be inferred by the generations we read about at the start of his story, and although there are some bad apples in the mixture we do see he has had some outstanding individuals who “walked with God” in his coat of arms. In short, Abraham keeps the priority of world view and belief center to his family’s values.

For one, this is some sound advice. Couples need not really have similar personalities or interests in order to “make it” in marriage. But differences in personalities helps the couple grow. Timeliness versus an easy-going attitude can smooth out the rough edges of each extreme, bringing the couple to a better understanding of each other’s proclivities. Diversity in interests can help foster curiosity among the two, inclining the other to learn about each other’s strengths and passions so as to encourage them to do the same towards others. 

Not so with world views. On a basic level, if a couple were to debate whether or not the world was flat or round, the couple’s will be locked in a long debate as to how the world really is, and what truth really is. This easily can lead to dehumanizing attitudes towards the other, considering the other ignorant or arrogant. This is a superficial example that has to do with fact and speaks nothing on the topic of morality. Couples that have very far opposed views of politics and faith will find great challenges the more entrenched they are in their own world views. Certainly, one side might concede to the other to alleviate the dissonance, but what if one couple were to leave a true belief on behalf of appealing to their spouse’s view merely for keeping the peace? 

To summarize, Abraham is looking to create a united house for his son, to prioritize the truth that has provided him a son, that has spared him from much crisis and calamity. Abraham prioritizes God for his son, and isn’t it only fair that he should set this standard?

And yet, Abraham and his servant aren’t quite sure that this endeavor will bring any fruit. The servant asks for a hypothetical, dares to ask, “what if God doesn’t provide”? It’s a scary question to even ask perhaps, and yet we do see Abraham dare to ask God, “how will I know you’ll give me a son when…” The ideal is perhaps to trust given what is known, but maintaining the relationship with God even in a state of doubt is the next best place lest one walks away entirely from the possibility of an all-powerful, loving Creator and Savior.

The servant’s bold question is met with assurance, however. Abraham tells him that if the journey is fruitless–if seemingly God does not provide–that the oath the servant swore will dissolve, that he will be freed of the obligation, but that an angel will be with him in his journey regardless.

The only peace of mind this servant receives from Abraham is that he won’t be under any curse or disappointment from Abraham if he comes back empty-handed–so long as he tries–and that an invisible comforter will accompany him (we read this later as the servant tells the story). 

Still, what assurance does the servant have? Is he given weapons to protect himself on the journey? What provision does he have to protect the treasure he is told to carry along the way? Is there any sign he can rest upon and take comfort in? 

No, this servant is given nothing and must tread to Abraham’s homeland–a place we don’t even know if he’s been to before–and wait for the right woman to show up.

As the story goes, this journey ends up being a success, and Isaac is betrothed to Rebecca. 

working with god’s energy

For us, reading this story, we should take courage that God will provide in our anxiety, that there awaits something beyond the veil of uncertainty. 

I know too well the anxiety of choosing a career, of courting a stranger, of making a bold move that will affect the rest of my life. It’s a crippling and paralyzing thing to be at such crossroads, and this paralysis speaks to something good and holy in us: we concede that our own logic and discernment are lacking and mislead a great deal of the time.

When we admit our lack of discernment and wisdom in such decisions, God shows His power, because we have given Him space through our humility.

That being said, the servant still makes the journey without any real aim, and Abraham endeavors to send him out. So too for us, it requires some kind of movement on our end and trust that God will steer us as we walk forward. Perhaps some doors will be shut, some opportunities closed off. Perhaps that’s God reorienting us as we blindly walk forward.

The important word that summarizes all this is synergy, the combining of work between God and man. I don’t believe that God is a micromanager, but rather He is more of a dancer, working with us in our clumsy footwork, waiting for us to let Him lead…not that He merely sweeps us off our feet, but so that we can learn His steps and follow.

God is like a current in a dense forest or tall valley, wherein we will have no real idea where the water pools out to. Do we refrain from putting our canoe in because of this fear of where the water heads? Do we find ourselves in the river but think we can fight the current, paddle even harder West when the water is trying to carry us East? Do we merely recline in our boat and let our vessel crash us into fallen debris in the water or into the muddy shore, or do we paddle to keep ourselves squarely in the safety of the center of this flow?

I believe this is our God. God the dancer. God the river. A coworking God, not an over-functioning one.

It merely requires on our part that we act boldly as well as humble ourselves to ask for God’s mighty hand to patiently and gently steer our way.

Today, consider the following:

  • When have you embarked on something without any expectation?
  • How many decision do you make on your own? On big decisions, who do you typically confer with?
  • What encourages you in times of uncertainty? What are some practices you can employ to encourage you during such uncertain ventures?
  • What times do I not consult God in decisions or circumstances? What times do I do nothing about my decisions or circumstances but trust God? What might a median look like?

Genesis 3 (Revisited)-We Sin Alone

Genesis 3:1-7

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

It is not good for man to be alone

I’d like to revisit Genesis 3 as I believe I’ve missed a crucial component in the story of Adam and Eve, and that is how sin took place.

In my previous reflection, we spoke about the inclination we have towards curiosity and the twisted nature of curiosity. Eve was tempted through curiosity–more or less–or rather to experience the thing that was meant to be sacred, the thing that was set aside, not for humanity (not for humanity yet).

It should be stated here that these inclinations are not sin, though as we begin to entertain and give way to them we set ourselves into the scope of sin. We are all curious and will feel something stir us especially when it is a taboo or not meant for our senses, and like any passion these are things that must be managed as a part of who we are.

Where is god?

But curiosity alone isn’t always powerful enough to make us transgress, nor is any other inclination or passion. However, the circumstances were set right in the story for the serpent–the fiery snake, the seraph, Lucifer–to tempt Eve. We read in chapter 2 how Adam and Eve both walked with God in the garden, that they can even hear God and speak with Him. Though its difficult perhaps to say what this implies exactly, but what can be sure is that God is accessible to Adam and Eve.

However, at the same token, it also implies that God can–to some kind of degree–be away from Adam and Eve. This is paradoxal as we consider God “everywhere present and filling all things” and yet we’ve experienced times of being alone from God, and we’ve perhaps we’ve experienced times where like the Lord we feel forsaken by God.

This is all worth discussing because the accessibility of God that we read in this story is important to Eve’s temptation. Again, we have seen how can be spoken to and how His Presence can pass by Adam and Eve. And yet, when Eve is tempted, we don’t imagine God walking by, visible, audible, nearby. It’s just Eve and the serpent.

Which leads us to our next realization: where was Adam during this?

where is adam (Eve)?

Adam and Eve were separated in this temptation. Perhaps we can imagine a conversation in which the serpent could have tempted BOTH Adam and Eve, together. Groups of people can make unwise decisions together, though there is something to be said about the strength accountability has in kinship. Couples, friends, family members can encourage one another towards good habits, help each other reinforce boundaries. We tend to lose weight when we diet with someone else, or gain muscle when we work out with someone else. These pacts are made through close bonds, and marriage is perhaps the strongest pact we can fathom. There ought to be no secrets in marriage.

So, yes, perhaps the serpent would have just as easily had both Adam and Eve in one shot. But perhaps the two looking at one another, to read one another’s thoughts, would have at least pumped the breaks on the temptation…which is a helpful step when fighting any temptation.

I realize a counter argument to this would be “if Adam ate at all, he would have just as easily ate being tempted with his wife.” This point, I would still argue there is a sense of aloneness when Eve gets to Adam. Adam is alone in the state of “not transgressing”, and so there is a kind of “missing out” that wedges Adam and Eve from one another.

At this point, I think it important to clear the air of something: this is not a blame thing, lest we should fall into the temptation of “blaming” that Adam does. We could have switched the circumstances and sexes, but the element of aloneness would still play out.

managing a passion

Being alone does not necessarily create a temptation, though it does give more space for a passion to fester and billow. We all will have to wrestle with temptations and passions as part of our human condition. That being said, the “management” of the passion/temptation can help us from falling into such bad habits, falling into sin.

Let us consider the story of Eve being tempted. What would happen if Eve called out to Adam during this dialog? Or, even better, what would happen if Eve called out to God? Eve called out to neither, though raising her voice in this solitary conversation would have saved her. Any married couple knows that making a decision in secret typically creates festering issues for that couple. “There are no secrets in marriage” I heard a counselor recently tell me, because “the two shall be one.”

There is nothing unwise about conferring with someone else when we are presented with a difficult decision, with a powerful feeling inclining us towards some kind of action. All of us can easily be stirred up and made gullible to a charismatic salesman, to a compelling scammer. In the moment when we are pressed to do something, it behooves us to take a moment and consult someone, for we know, “it is not good for man to be alone.”

In every temptation, in every decision, we may not have the luxury of consulting a trusted family member or friend. That being said, we know from this story that we can call out to God, with our voices or our thoughts, to explain the situation to Him–even though He already knows it–and ask for clarity, for assistance, to put this big feeling at His feet.

Whatever temptation or passion you find yourself constantly butting up against, or whatever big decision you feel pressed to make, be sure to consult with God, raise your voice to Him, and ask for some clarity, for some help, for peace and wisdom to navigate these difficulties.

Today, consider the following:

  • What temptations or passions do I find myself constantly battling against?
  • Who is my support? Who are my five most trusted that I know I can reach out to when the going gets tough or when I find myself with a pressing decision?
  • Do I have difficulty reaching out? If so, why? Where does that come from and how can I practice using my support?
  • Do I call out to God in prayer? What thoughts or feelings do I have on prayer? What ways do I acknowledge his sovereignty and in what ways do I hold fast to my own?